I get this incredible rush when someone comes up with the perfect response in a tricky situation. Itâs like they just know the exact thing to say. I'm always hunting for moments like that.
Years ago, we were all students, cramming for exams. Our computer lecturer in 5th semester, Mr. Subbharao, sent out this group email with some instructions.
My buddy, Manish, meant to reply just to us with a snarky comment about how pointless the instructions were... but he hit "reply all" instead. ( early days of dial-up connection email was a new thing you know)
Yep, he sent that mean remark to everyone... including Mr. Subbharao.
We all saw it and knew he was screwed. Manish was freaking out, sending a bunch of apologies. I was sitting there, wondering what to say to make him feel better. He was clearly mortified.
Then Mr. Subbharao, being the legend he is, replied to all of us and said,
"Weâve all done it."
I laughed out loud. It was so true... weâve all hit âreply allâ by mistake at some point or some stupid thing. It was the perfect response. It took all the tension out of the situation.
Now, whenever someone messes up, I just say, "Weâve all done it." Itâs simple, but it works every time.
How to get better in supporting people around
Being supportive isnât easy. Many people struggle to know the right thing to say or do to help.
Providing support is a skill you can learn. There are evidence-based strategies you can use. Whatâs more, providing the right kind of support is good both for your friends and for you.
Resist the urge to downplay your friendâs problems. Instead, aim to be compassionate and responsive to how your friend is feeling.
Ask questions and really listen. Most of us arenât as good at empathy as we think â so find out how your friend feels and show youâre paying attention.
Give emotional support first, cognitive support second. Validate your friendâs feelings, and only then help them to see things in a more positive light.
Donât take charge. Avoid being directive about your opinions; instead, encourage your friend to come up with potential solutions so they feel in control of the problem.
Avoid venting together. Dwelling on problems with your friend without looking for a solution is known as co-rumination. Use distraction to break out of these negative spirals.
Excerpt from this really really good article sharing Top 5 strategies (with examples) > how to support a friend going through difficult time
Whatâs The Marketing Lesson Here?
You really couldnât figure it out?
Bwawah
What we really need to do when someone screws up or is in a bad situation is
listen to their feedback, validate their feelings, and provide solutions that resonate with their experiences.
in one word have EMPATHY
I wonât talk much on how Empathy is the number ONE thing you need to create customers SUPERFANS but hereâs some more resources to build your Empathy muscles ( not just for people around but for self too )
Recommended Books and Videos
Books
"The Art of Comforting" by Val Walker: Offers practical advice and strategies for comforting people in distress. Amazon link
"Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy" by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant: Discusses building resilience and supporting others through difficult times. Amazon link
"When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by Pema Chödrön: Provides spiritual advice on dealing with life's challenges and supporting others. Amazon link
Videos
Brené Brown on Empathy: A short, insightful video that explains the difference between empathy and sympathy and how to practice empathy effectively. Watch it here.
TED Talk by Guy Winch: Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid: Discusses the importance of emotional hygiene and how to support ourselves and others emotionally. Watch it here.
"Supporting Friends in Hard Times" by The School of Life: Offers advice on how to be there for friends during their struggles. Watch it here.